Everyone has a communication style when interacting with others. It is their primary, “go to” approach to dealing with situations. It’s the main tool in their communication tool box that they reach for instinctively in a difficult situation.
Some people are passive, letting others take the lead or win arguments. Some people are aggressive, viewing everything as a competition that has to be won. Some people combine the worst characteristics of passive and aggressive, using sarcasm and jabs to get try to get what they want. Finally, some, very rare people, have managed to build an exceptional communication tool box that allows them to communicate assertively with those around them.
Which one are you?
If someone cuts in front of you in line at the store, which of the following best reflects what you'd likely say:
Nothing, because I don't want to make a fuss.
"Hel-lo! Don't you see me standing here?”
"Hey, get to the back of the line and wait like everyone else!"
"Excuse me, but I was next in line."
Correct!
Wrong!
You need to do some yard work and want help. Which of the following are you most likely to say as you head out the door?
"Get out here now and help me!"
"I'd like some help with the yard work. Can you please sweep the patio?"
"It sure would be nice if SOMEBODY would get off the couch and help me."
"There sure are a lot of leaves out here. I hope I can get them all swept up before it rains."
Correct!
Wrong!
You're at a restaurant and order your food well done. It arrives very under-cooked. How would you most likely handle it?
Ask the waiter, "Does this look like well done to you? How hard is it to cook something well done?"
Ask for a "to go" box and cook your food properly when you get home.
Tell the waiter that your food is under-cooked and ask that it be taken back to the kitchen to be cooked until well.
Demand to speak to the manager and tell her you want the meal taken off your bill.
Correct!
Wrong!
You're in a meeting where the team is discussing a course of action you disagree with. What are you most likely to do?
Say nothing because most of the people like the idea.
Say, "This is a terrible plan and it will never work."
Ask, "Who the heck came up with this idea anyway?"
Express your concerns about the plan as clearly as possible.
Correct!
Wrong!
You're meeting a friend at the movies. Your mother calls, asking you to come help her hang a picture right away. What are you most likely to do?
Tell your mom you're not her personal servant and that she should call your brother.
Tell your mom you have plans and say you'll come by after the movie.
Say, "Why don't you call your precious son? He's your favorite!"
Head to your mom's, calling your friend on the way to say you'll be late.
Correct!
Wrong!
You overhear a coworker saying that he doesn't like working with you because you're too picky. What are you be most likely to do?
Wait until you can speak to the coworker alone, share what you heard, and ask if you can talk about it.
Interrupt the conversation saying, "If you've got something to say to me, say it to my face."
Think to yourself, "Oh you haven't seen picky yet. Just wait," and make a point of being even pickier to teach him a lesson.
Say nothing because you're embarrassed and hurt.
Correct!
Wrong!
Your company is having significant, repeated trouble with a contractor. Your boss asks your opinion about how to resolve it. What are you most likely to say?
"I don't know, what do you think?"
"Whose idea was it to hire that guy anyway? Oh yeah, it was David, wasn't it?"
"All contractors are lazy. I doubt we’d be able to find anyone better."
"We need to hire another contractor."
Correct!
Wrong!
You order a pound of cheese at the deli counter and the clerk mistakenly gives you 1.5 lbs. What are you most likely to do?
Take the cheese home and hope your family eats it all before it goes bad.
Tell the clerk you refuse to be forced to buy more cheese than you wanted and then ask to see the store manager.
Ask the clerk to remove the extra half pound from your order.
Say, "I said a pound. Don't you know how much a pound is?"
Correct!
Wrong!
You're trying to meet an important deadline at work and a coworker drops by to chat about his upcoming vacation. What are you most likely to do?
Listen to his plans because he seems so excited about it and you don't want to be rude.
Look at your watch and say, "Oh, are you taking a coffee break . . .again?"
Tell him, "I don't have time to talk about your trip. I have work to do."
Tell him, "Sounds like you're excited about your trip Mark. Unfortunately, I've got to get this report to Sarah in 20 minutes and need to get back to work."
Correct!
Wrong!
You and a friend are meeting for dinner. You've been to the restaurant she chose once before and didn't like it, but you agree to go.
The restaurant is terrible again. What are you most likely to say?
"It's partly my fault. I've been here before and it wasn't very good. I should have let you know.""
"That restaurant was terrible. I can't believe you picked that place."
"I knew this restaurant was going to be terrible. We should have gone somewhere else."
Nothing, you don't want to make her feel bad.
Correct!
Wrong!
You forgot to pay a bill you said you'd pay. Your roommate confronts you angrily about it. What are you most likely to say?
"You're right. I forgot to pay the bill. I'll take care of it now. I would appreciate it when I make a mistake, if you would just tell me about it without yelling.”
"I do everything around here and you do nothing. You can pay all the bills from now on."
"Well I suppose you're perfect and never make mistakes?"
"You're right, I'm sorry."
Correct!
Wrong!
Share the quiz to show your results !
Enter your info to get your customized results!
What’s your communication style?
You are a %%personality%%
%%description%%
But I'm also %%personality%%
%%description%%
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If someone cuts in front of you in line at the store, which of the following best reflects what you'd likely say:
Nothing, because I don't want to make a fuss.
"Hel-lo! Don't you see me standing here?”
"Hey, get to the back of the line and wait like everyone else!"
"Excuse me, but I was next in line."
Correct!
Wrong!
You need to do some yard work and want help. Which of the following are you most likely to say as you head out the door?
"Get out here now and help me!"
"I'd like some help with the yard work. Can you please sweep the patio?"
"It sure would be nice if SOMEBODY would get off the couch and help me."
"There sure are a lot of leaves out here. I hope I can get them all swept up before it rains."
Correct!
Wrong!
You're at a restaurant and order your food well done. It arrives very under-cooked. How would you most likely handle it?
Ask the waiter, "Does this look like well done to you? How hard is it to cook something well done?"
Ask for a "to go" box and cook your food properly when you get home.
Tell the waiter that your food is under-cooked and ask that it be taken back to the kitchen to be cooked until well.
Demand to speak to the manager and tell her you want the meal taken off your bill.
Correct!
Wrong!
You're in a meeting where the team is discussing a course of action you disagree with. What are you most likely to do?
Say nothing because most of the people like the idea.
Say, "This is a terrible plan and it will never work."
Ask, "Who the heck came up with this idea anyway?"
Express your concerns about the plan as clearly as possible.
Correct!
Wrong!
You're meeting a friend at the movies. Your mother calls, asking you to come help her hang a picture right away. What are you most likely to do?
Tell your mom you're not her personal servant and that she should call your brother.
Tell your mom you have plans and say you'll come by after the movie.
Say, "Why don't you call your precious son? He's your favorite!"
Head to your mom's, calling your friend on the way to say you'll be late.
Correct!
Wrong!
You overhear a coworker saying that he doesn't like working with you because you're too picky. What are you be most likely to do?
Wait until you can speak to the coworker alone, share what you heard, and ask if you can talk about it.
Interrupt the conversation saying, "If you've got something to say to me, say it to my face."
Think to yourself, "Oh you haven't seen picky yet. Just wait," and make a point of being even pickier to teach him a lesson.
Say nothing because you're embarrassed and hurt.
Correct!
Wrong!
Your company is having significant, repeated trouble with a contractor. Your boss asks your opinion about how to resolve it. What are you most likely to say?
"I don't know, what do you think?"
"Whose idea was it to hire that guy anyway? Oh yeah, it was David, wasn't it?"
"All contractors are lazy. I doubt we’d be able to find anyone better."
"We need to hire another contractor."
Correct!
Wrong!
You order a pound of cheese at the deli counter and the clerk mistakenly gives you 1.5 lbs. What are you most likely to do?
Take the cheese home and hope your family eats it all before it goes bad.
Tell the clerk you refuse to be forced to buy more cheese than you wanted and then ask to see the store manager.
Ask the clerk to remove the extra half pound from your order.
Say, "I said a pound. Don't you know how much a pound is?"
Correct!
Wrong!
You're trying to meet an important deadline at work and a coworker drops by to chat about his upcoming vacation. What are you most likely to do?
Listen to his plans because he seems so excited about it and you don't want to be rude.
Look at your watch and say, "Oh, are you taking a coffee break . . .again?"
Tell him, "I don't have time to talk about your trip. I have work to do."
Tell him, "Sounds like you're excited about your trip Mark. Unfortunately, I've got to get this report to Sarah in 20 minutes and need to get back to work."
Correct!
Wrong!
You and a friend are meeting for dinner. You've been to the restaurant she chose once before and didn't like it, but you agree to go.
The restaurant is terrible again. What are you most likely to say?
The restaurant is terrible again. What are you most likely to say?
"It's partly my fault. I've been here before and it wasn't very good. I should have let you know.""
"That restaurant was terrible. I can't believe you picked that place."
"I knew this restaurant was going to be terrible. We should have gone somewhere else."
Nothing, you don't want to make her feel bad.
Correct!
Wrong!
You forgot to pay a bill you said you'd pay. Your roommate confronts you angrily about it. What are you most likely to say?
"You're right. I forgot to pay the bill. I'll take care of it now. I would appreciate it when I make a mistake, if you would just tell me about it without yelling.”
"I do everything around here and you do nothing. You can pay all the bills from now on."
"Well I suppose you're perfect and never make mistakes?"
"You're right, I'm sorry."
Correct!
Wrong!
Share the quiz to show your results !
Enter your info to get your customized results!
What’s your communication style?
You are a %%personality%%
%%description%%
But I'm also %%personality%%
%%description%%
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When you’re finished, if you don’t like your results in this communication quiz, be sure to read my blog post, “Positive Assertiveness: 7 Tips for Stepping Up Without Stepping on Toes.” for tips, tools and techniques for improving your communication style.
