Whether it’s being stuck at home day in and day out with your family, or frustration over trying to keep remote connections with your coworkers, you may find that since COVID-19 began, you’re getting into more arguments and conflict situations with those around you.
When faced with a conflict or potential conflict situation, everyone has a specific “go to” or primary conflict style that they’re likely to use to get through the situation. It’s the tool they reach for first and often instinctively when faced with conflict. Some people are passive, letting others take the lead or win arguments. Some people are aggressive, viewing everything as a competition that has to be won. Some people combine the worst characteristics of passive and aggressive, using sarcasm and jabs to get try to get what they want. And then there are the very few people who were either blessed with parents who were assertive communicators and taught them those skills, or who have had the training and education to build an exceptional communication tool box that allows them to communicate assertively with those around them.
The problem is, most people don’t really know what their communication style is. Many like to believe they’re assertive, but confuse assertion with aggression. Others don’t realize they’re as passive or passive aggressive as they are. Therefore, the first step toward becoming a better conflict resolver is to find out what your style truly is. This short, 11-question quiz I designed will help you find out.
If you want a more in-depth look at your conflict style, its pros, cons, alternatives, and some insight into how you can best interact with people whose style differs from yours, consider taking the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode assessment. When you do, you’ll receive a detailed results report, recommendations, and a 30-minute consultation with me to review your results and create an action plan for better conflict resolution!
Finally, if you want to start taking steps now to becoming more assertive, be sure to check out my post, “Positive Assertiveness: 7 Tips for Stepping Up Without Stepping on Toes.” for tips, tools and techniques for using a more assertive style to manage difficult situations.